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09.12.2005 now and then and every momentgimme a reason for still writing after a whole night's writing.....
maybe i am in a writing mania now with a best mood in 3 weeks, heyhey~
after last night's unpleasant bumping into another , well , so called hot chick, i feel terrible enough to feel today is another day. And every time when i come here to scramble, i always have something bad to say, right? What i am doing is not a confession or a narration or a meditation, i am just not that sensitive or sentimental to make some flow of words to heal something either in my soul or my face, what i said and will be saying here makes no much sence and worth as little to the others as to myself, i came to scramble, that's my purpose , motivation and process....
So apart from the shit above, i came to realize , say yesterday, i have been catering the others in a so clumsy way in which i got myself so f*** up. I am supposed to do better , well , if i had noticed that and i can do much better if I stop this stupid way of living. I am normal according to parents, but they are not the one to determine what I am going to be.
I gonna be myself, the abusolute ego , the incarnation of a noble soul , a reborn angel , a immortal Herakles. A robin bird that can never be killed. 03.12.2005 10 minutes before bed10 minutes before i hit the sag,feet soaked in hot water, then blood rush though my veins ,well , let me see what should i say today.....
For a long time , i'm kind of like those two words often mentioned by all sorts of English teacher, yea, i 'm alone but i' m not longly. I 've been used to, or to be exactly ,enjoy such kind of dominance of every second of my life. No one would bother me, nor would i bother nobody.
However, that is not the human way ,right?
hah , i used to doubt whether i am , well ,human.
So my point is that i am feeling a little little bit unsatisfied by such attitude of solitude...shall i change then ?
Now hot water evaporating on my feet , all i feel is cold , cold inside and outside....
good night robin and your terrestrial friends. have a nice dream. |
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